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When life gives you lemons, [entries|friends|calendar]
Samantha Jean's pity party

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Today... [13 Jan 2009|09:06pm]
I found a reason to quit you.
I'm leaving you for Google Reader.
Don't start that crying shit.
If you still love me and want me to know about your life,
send me a comment and I'll still read.
2 cards of sympathy for me?

Today... [04 Jun 2008|11:00am]
I wrote a letter to make things better.
Went to work, still waiting for a reply.
"we should probably just be friends."
Thanks for understanding, as usual.
1 cards of sympathy for me?

Tonight... [25 Mar 2008|01:37pm]
is the wine and cheese reception with Crispin Porter and Bogusky, that I am super excited about.
I got up this morning...
took a shower after boxing class...
did my hair...
got dressed in this cute dress that Sean got me from the Gap.
I just went into my bathroom and decided that it needed some cleaning...
so I cleaned my toilet...
my shower...
and a large chunk of color off the right breast of my dress.
sympathy for me?

You know what... [17 Jan 2008|02:42pm]
TO THE UNIVERSE: Lauren posted this. It is fake. If this actually happened I would call someone. Love you all.

I had the worst day evar.
My mom told me that they don't have enough money to get me a new macbook pro.
So they're just going to give me a crappy refurbished one from Dell.
I bought a new bike, but someone stole it...
while I was on it.
That's right, yesterday evening I got mugged.
I didn't have anything with me except my Zune.
Which he stole.
And it had all of my Smashing Pumpkins music on it, because I can't access my files on my computer...
because it's being shitty.
Which is why I needed a new laptop to begin with.
And on top of all that...
this morning I went running after I went to Starbucks.
Because I was all hopped up on caffeine...
and I fell down.  Hard.
And broke my clavicle.
Then while I was lying there on the side of the road, trying to get up
I almost got hit by a cap metro bus.
Fucking bastards.
In the hospital they patched me up and gave me drugs.
And then Sean called and broke up with me.
But I don't really care right now because Lauren came over to take care of me
And she's awesome
So we drank some Mexican rum and she and I took one of my painkillers and it got us so high...
Which is just perfect.
I think I'm going to go make a venison meatloaf...
8 cards of sympathy for me?

Bad things [02 Jan 2008|02:02am]
[ mood | sore ]

have not happened in a while because I haven't updated my livejournal and if bad things happened i would post them here because that's what this lj is for and it hasn't happened so I haven't posted.

But today, something really bad happened.

I was abducted by aliens.

And they used an anal probe.

I'm back now, though. My butt kinda hurts but(t) I'm in one piece.

They said that Hillary is one of there's.

Just so you know.

I'm going to go get some vaseline now.


sympathy for me?

Today... [26 Sep 2007|08:22pm]
we learned that nothing make you wish you were anorexic...
more than your father telling you, "You've really blown up."
sympathy for me?

Today... [05 Sep 2007|04:10pm]
I still can't catch a fucking break.
Yesterday, I wrecked my bike.
I fell down...
and skidded about 3 feet down the sidewalk.
My back wheel sticks now.
This afternoon, I wake up to find that I can't bend my elbow...
and Travis might not be able to come see me...
because his brother/father have decided that since he's coming down next weekend...
he may as well move his brother back up with them.
Teach me to get excited about things.
And then...
I decide I'm going to design to make myself happy...
beacuse I am working on/almost finished the coolest picture of Eva in existence.
I go to press play on my tunes...
and my Windows Media Player is closed.
Oh yeah, power outage.
I look to find that Illustrator is also not open.
and my dumbass doesn't save anything.
sympathy for me?

This week... [24 Jul 2007|08:49am]
Life has decided to throw some KO punches.
3 cards of sympathy for me?

Sometimes... [09 Jul 2007|12:38am]
Jesus loves me...
not often but sometimes.
Take for instance the class I have to take over...
I thought I had Advertising Research from 8-12.
Turns out it's just 830-10.
sympathy for me?

Today... [18 Jun 2007|09:21pm]
I invited Steve into my home.
Steve is a plecostomus...
which is a sucker fish for those of you that are dumb like me.
I got Steve so he could be friends with Holden...
my turtle...
and eat his poop.
Steve was sick when I got him...
so I bought some medicine for him...
bringing my grand total up to $7.77.
I got home and put Steve in Holden's tank and put the medicine in the water.
I introduced Holden to Steve and he seemed ok with this new friend.
I called my family about 45 minutes later to tell them about Holden's new friend.
Just as I went to tell my sister...
the words were stolen from my mouth...
as half of Steve was stolen from his body.
Holden is an asshole.
4 cards of sympathy for me?

Today... [12 Jun 2007|10:28pm]
we have learned...
shit happens and it makes you sad...
but it passes...
kinda like a gallstone...
it's pretty damn painful before it passes...
but it does...
and you're ok.

I dedicate this to b. <3
4 cards of sympathy for me?

Tonight... [21 May 2007|09:09pm]
my sister decided to wax my armpits.
Jesus Christ on a cross...
11 cards of sympathy for me?

Tonight... [14 May 2007|12:12am]
my TA finally posted our grades up from our advertising research final.
This is 8 points away from a 95.
This is 8 points away from me passing.
5 cards of sympathy for me?

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